If it looks and sounds like a pub from the outside, it’s because it is – or was. Dating back to 1843, The Grapes is something of a local landmark and, up until 2022, it operated as a Shepherd Neame boozer.
But while the new owners couldn’t bear to part with the name, nearly everything inside has been upgraded in a £200,000 makeover that has seen the glam-o-meter turned up to 10.
I don’t have the benefit of knowing what it looked like before, but I’d put money on the fact staff weren’t serving pints of mild and packets of pork scratchings from behind a black padded bar beneath chandeliers.
And given the pub-style signage remains, I imagine a fair few punters still walk in, dazed and confused and hopelessly searching for a fruit machine.
Now the interior is all black and gold, with backlit mirrors, garden wall panels and fake blossoms.
The luxe toilets take this colour palette to a whole other level, which, while undeniably cool, are so dark and dimly-lit they made me briefly turn into my parents when I used to drag them out shopping to Hollister – fumbling around for my phone torch and mumbling about the practicality.
On the plus side, even my poorly applied make-up looked relatively presentable in this light.
But back to the drinks. The barmaid was particularly chirpy and had barely taken our orders before returning to singing along to the Pussycat Dolls, and the menu was promising.
There were the Aperols, Cosmos and Pornstar Martinis (the most popular here, as in most bars now by all accounts) but also some more ‘out there’ options like the Lychee Martini and Strawberry Cheesecake. And then what could be more Gravesend than a Burning Clocktower, while sat in the shadow of the icon itself?
I do like a menu that takes a bit of a risk, and for the prices (between £6.95-£8.95) these were definitely risks worth taking. I started out with the Lychee Martini, while my drinking buddy tried the Pineapple Daiquiri. Both took a bit of work, including a generous portion of pineapple for the latter, and the attention to detail was a welcome surprise for the price.
Perched at some bar stools, our only companions a group of blokes knocking back Madris, we got sipping.
The daiquiri was tasty, but lacking in oomph to the point we both retraced our steps mentally and tried to remember if we’d seen any rum go into the shaker – sadly, I was too busy humming along to the rendition of Stickwitchu to notice, though.
My martini was pretty in pink, but, like the cherry blossom trees flanking the entrance, just a little too artificial.
Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained. They were tasty, cheap, and strengthened our resolve to try some of the more unusual options next.
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I had been intrigued by the Burning Clocktower since I saw it contained activated charcoal.
Surely any cocktail that can give you a whiter smile has got to be worth a try. Googling the other uses of charcoal, I see it is also useful in treating poisoning, wind, and, oh hello, hangovers. Chin chin!
Gimmicks aside, this drink also contained berry vodka, blackcurrant liqueur, lime, lemon, sugar and cranberry.
Now, whether or not it brightened my teeth, this one really did get me smiling – it was the standout drink of the bunch and was much more complex than the drinks of our first round.
The Chilli Mango Margarita was also solid and a nice twist on a classic – the heat a nice remedy to the sugar.
Again, we couldn’t fault the presentation, the effort that went into making them, or the friendly service. I certainly can’t fault the price.
So I know what you’re waiting for – is this in fact the best bar in Kent?
Well, no. Sorry. I think it will take more than a berry cocktail that cures wind to prompt me to hand out that accolade.
But is it a really solid bar, making decent, interesting drinks on a budget, and adding some luxe to the town centre? Absolutely.
I’d go back, even if I wasn’t in or around Gravesend.
The Grapes, 153 Milton Road, Gravesend, DA12 2RG
Décor: Outside, it’s still very much a pub, but inside the new owners have definitely ramped up the glam. Together it feels a little confused – but I can see why you wouldn’t part with the kind of history The Grapes has ***
Drinks: Our first round was a little sugary and lacking in oomph, but the second was much more up our street. I enjoyed seeing a Gravesend-themed cocktail on the menu too ***
Price: Expect plenty of change here. The cocktails range from just £6.95-£8.95 *****
Staff: Friendly, attentive, and nailing those tunes ****
Best for: Girls’ night
