Shovelware is a fact of life on every gaming platform, but I usually pride myself on spotting these scummy (and sometimes outright scammy) games looking to make a buck from our ignorance. In fact, I’ve never been caught out by a shovelware game—until now.
Yes, I’ve finally joined the ignominious club of people who have lost money to deceptive games—usually with no recourse. While I’m not saying I’m the savviest shopper in the world, I am more careful than most, and so if it could happen to me, it could happen to you!
Nintendo’s Had Shovelware Issues for Generations
It’s an ironic twist that Nintendo should today have the reputation of shovelware-filled online stores, considering that it was Nintendo’s stance against shovelware that made it the company it is today. The infamous North-American video game crash of 1983 happened because of a flood of shovelware—low-quality cash-grab titles that take little effort to produce.
It was that Nintendo gold seal of approval that assured people that someone had actually checked that this was a real game that at least tried to be good, and wasn’t deliberately created to steal your money.
However, almost from the moment the Nintendo Wii—Nintendo’s first online console—opened its online store there was a flood of low-quality games selling for peanuts, but providing less value. The Wii was notorious for the amount of shovelware released for it, and while today the problem isn’t nearly as bad, it’s still a major issue.
I Can Usually Spot Shovelware a Mile Away
Almost all the time, I can tell if a game is a shovelware title without looking it up online first. Most of them are trying to fool you into thinking they’re a popular game by using a similar name. Think “Call of Battlefield” or “The Rest of Us” or something similar. They try to skirt the line between parody and ripoff so as not to get in trouble, but the games themselves are almost always shameless, low-effort asset flips not worth the $5 you paid, or even 99c.
Related
I think people who are fooled by these scammy games are mostly very casual players who don’t pay much attention to video game news, or completely naive people who just think the game looks cool and doesn’t cost much, so why not give it a go?
I Wanted to Get a Popular Indie for My Wife
Which brings me to my embarrassing boo-boo. You see, there’s this highly-popular video game on Steam called Schedule 1 which is in the hallowed “crime simulater” and management genre, following in the footsteps of cult-classic Drug-Wars. I wasn’t interested in playing the game myself, but my brother’s already put several hundred hours into it, and I thought it would be exactly the sort of title my wife would get a laugh out of. Except, she doesn’t play games on PC.
Lo and behold, I’m browsing the eShop, and a game called SCHEDULE I – MAFIA EMPIRE pops up in my feed, and it’s on sale for $1.99. “Perfect”, I think to myself, “she can play this on her Nintendo Switch.” so without much further thought I buy the game and send the virtual game card over to her console.
Related
Later, when we boot up the game on her console, it’s immediately clear that this isn’t the same game from Steam, and I’ve been duped out of two bucks!
I Didn’t Do My Research, but the Copy Is Too Close for Comfort
Now. I’m perfectly willing to take some of the blame here, because if I had just taken a minute to do some basic internet research I would have seen that the real game is only in Steam right now, and it’s also in early access. So, while some port of it may come to consoles one day, that’s not happened yet.
Great, we’ve established my responsibility here, but still look at the artwork for the games. First the real-deal title from Steam.
Now, compare that to the store page on the eShop.
If I was actually someone who played the original game, then this wouldn’t have fooled me, but in this case I was playing the part of the clueless person buying a game for someone else instead.
I’ve Paid My School Fees Now
I never thought I’d be burned by shovelware, but it turns out it really can happen to anyone. Honestly, I know it’s just two bucks, but what makes it worse is Nintendo’s refund policy—there isn’t one.
Related
So, clearly, there’s no quality control, no way to report shovelware, and no way to get your money back if you do fall for one. It seems the only way to actually get shovelware off the eShop is if the developers step over the line and actually commit copyright infringement.
So consider the lesson learned for me—and since there’s no way to permanently remove a game from your digital library, I’ll have to see this Memento Stulti every time I look at my list of purchased games.
