Slightly off the town centre beaten track, the Malt Shovel looked like a decent old boozer, little did I know it was a full-on recovery and rehab facility.
Stepping out of the Dartford sunshine into the cool, low-ceilinged bar, it was a moment or two before the barman spotted me but the moment he did I was served a pint of guest ale, Wadworth’s 6X.
Through the large conservatory, presumably added in the 1970/80s, I walked out back into the beer garden to witness a groaning sun worshipper wearing shades at full stretch on a lounger. The dark glasses hid the worst of the damage, but by her own admission, the previous evening had been ‘a very big night’. Soft drinks were supplied and applied by her mate but it was only the offer of a chocolate pudding which finally got her off her back.
This is a pub which is proud to offer a whole variety of entertainment – live music, cheese and wine evenings, quiz nights, stand-up comedy, but at 4pm the only show was this recovery session and the oft-repeated ‘I’ll never do that again’ vows.
Mind you, the barman did say Dartford Labour Party had booked the pub for a belated election victory party later that evening, but for now, the face in recovery looked even more emotionally challenged than a weeping Rachel Reeves.
I’d finished my pleasantly creamy and smooth 6X, a bit like an upmarket John Smith’s, so left the garden to collect another beer from the bar.
By now, the Wadworths had sadly run out and as there isn’t a huge demand for ale in the hotter weather, there was no similar alternative, so I was persuaded to try the juicy IPA, Fader from the Laine Brewery in Brighton.
The barman took the opportunity to chat and shared his innermost thoughts on this watering hole that dates from 1673. He reckons it’s just far enough out of the centre not to attract any yobbos but probably benefits from being a fraction more visible and might even be spotted from the upper deck of a passing bus. He also informed me Young’s is the usual house beer but they were currently waiting on a delivery.
I returned to the remarkably quiet garden, particularly given its position in the town, but declined to join the full-on stretched out sunbathing/recovery session, although I was just in time to wave to a passing bus.
There’s much to like here, the pub itself is wonderfully traditional, without being quaint, the garden is comfortable and smart enough, with decent furniture and there are plenty of events taking place.
I wandered back in and took a seat in the front bar, the oldest part of the pub, where barman Conor was catching up on some admin and enjoying a tub of homemade pasta.
There is no dartboard, pool table or jukebox, although I did notice there was now some music being played gently in the background. I also spied a ‘Witching Table’, whatever that is, and a frame containing a series of old banknotes and coins – which even added together wouldn’t be enough to buy a pint at today’s prices, well, not here anyway.
There were plenty of signs promoting a wide variety of events, quizzes, jazz, comedy, cheese and wine nights but there was also one which read ‘Closed due to staff problems, SORRY’ – fortunately it looked pretty faded, so I’m assuming the problems have passed.
I wasn’t eating but the menu looked good and the food was praised highly when the barman came out to collect plates from one group who had ordered meals. The chocolate pudding was also up to muster as the recovering party girl even managed to sit up to eat it, briefly at least.
This traditional pub just outside Dartford town centre had provided me with a great stopping off point to enjoy a few refreshing libations, but I’d already stayed longer than I’d intended, so sadly needed to head back into the town.
I left some time before any celebrating members of Dartford’s Labour Party showed up and also before the recoveree managed to climb off her sunbed, but I’m sure the Malt Shovel will have livened up later.
THE MALT SHOVEL, 3 DARENTH ROAD, DARTFORD DA1 1LP
Décor: Great to visit a good old-fashioned town pub which hasn’t felt the need to modernise. The original front bars are traditional but I wasn’t a huge fan of the conservatory which has been added more recently, although the garden is well maintained. ****
Drink: Usually I’m a fan of sunshine but sadly it reduced the number of ales available. However, the Wadworth’s 6X was a great pint and the fruity 5.1% IPA Fader grew on me too. ****
Price: Bitter at £5.50 isn’t particularly cheap and the Fader IPA was £6.80. Even the Spanish lager, Madri, was £6.30. **
Staff: Barman Conor has worked here for a while and was both knowledgeable about the pub and a real fan. He was also a fan of the fruity IPA. ****
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