Video games cause violence is a myth. But we do have some pretty great weapons from video games people the world over would recognise in an instant. I’m not saying I would start swinging a cool, glowing sword around if you put one in my hands, but I’m also not not saying that. Unless you’re some kind of legal authority, in which case, I’m definitely not saying that.
I bet I could win the judge over if it were a really cool sword, though.
Before I potentially get whisked away for any alleged “reckless endangerment”, I’m here to take a very serious look at what video game weapon is the most iconic. Like, which one would your grandma know? There’s got to be a definitive answer, but to play it safe, we’ll take a look at a few, so there’ll be no reason for you to think I missed any out.
Is the reverse psychology call to action working yet?
7 Crowbar
Half-Life
A crowbar isn’t really a weapon, it’s a tool. But you can’t tell me that every time you see a red crowbar, you don’t immediately think of Half-Life. I haven’t even played Half-Life, but I still think about it every single time.
God forbid I ever get a job in cargo management and my 60+ year old boss hands me a crowbar to unpack some shipment crates, only for me to start telling them all about a video game I’ve not played while they stare at me, blank-eyed, waiting for me to just open the damn box. That or attack them, I suppose.
It’s honestly the only reason I’m not working in shipment-related jobs right now. I’ll reconsider once I eventually get around to playing the games. Until then, those crates are remaining well and truly sealed.
6 Portal Gun
Portal
You could argue that this is also not a weapon, but it’s got ‘Gun’ in the name. So, you know, it really hits that keyword for the topic, and I’m probably not going to write about the most iconic tools in games anytime soon. Although maybe I should…
Anyway, the Portal Gun is also one of the most recognisable weapons in video game history, which may be helped by the fact that the name also includes the word ‘Portal’, so you’d be pretty hard-pressed to forget which series it comes from. Your grandma has no excuse with this one, so if you ask her to guess and she says Halo, it’s time for a new grandma.
5 Keyblade
Kingdom Hearts
It’s a key. It’s a blade. It’s a key that is used as a blade. It’s a blade that is used as a key. The naming convention here is honestly a stroke of genius.
The Keyblade comes from Kingdom Hearts, as Sora’s iconic weapon, used while he… fixes hearts and darkness? And locks things? Is that what it’s for? Honestly, I’m just now realising I have no idea what Kingdom Hearts actually is. I know it’s somehow a standalone series that features both Mickey Mouse and Sephiroth, but like, that doesn’t help me.
Anyway, yeah, the Keyblade, I guess.
4 Diamond Sword
Minecraft
I’d say the pickaxe, but I’ve probably used up all my ‘it’s a tool, not a weapon’ technicality justifications already. Still, in a game made up entirely of blocks, the blocky, blue sword is just as recognisable.
Now, forgive me while I put on my reading glasses and prepare to yell at those kids on my lawn, but back in my day, the Diamond Sword was the best weapon you could get in Minecraft. I don’t want to hear about any Netherite, if that’s even real. In my heart, the Diamond Sword is still the best, and it’s not only iconic, but it’ll be the first thing on my mind as soon as I find my first pieces of diamond in Minecraft.
How far into an entry about Minecraft can I get before the urge to start up a two-week phase of going back to the game? Joke’s on you, I’m already loading it up right now.
Assassin’s Creed
If you remember the earliest trailers for the beginnings of the Assassin’s Creed series, then you probably, like me, have a bad back. But you probably also remember seeing the Hidden Blade in action for the first time, as Altair leapt from above to take down a Templar with one swift grab.
It’s a staple of the series, and one that has seen so many cool variations over the years. Hidden Blade with a gun, Hidden Blade with a crossbow, or the ever innovative Hookblade™. Incredible stuff. Now hear me out: a Hidden Blade that has a soda pouch and a long straw that’s concealed under your sleeve, all the way to your mouth. Da Vinci would be proud, I think.
2 Buster Sword
Final Fantasy 7
What has more edge: Cloud Strife, or his five-foot blade? Definitely Cloud, but that doesn’t make his Buster Sword any less significant. It’s been iconic for almost 30 years, since Final Fantasy 7 climbed to its podium back in ‘97, and it sat there on the famously simple start menu.
With Remake and Rebirth, and the pending third entry to the Remake trilogy, it means the sword is more iconic now than ever. A new generation can build that same connection to this giant, sharp rectangle that Shinra soldiers probably have a whole training manual on specifically avoiding. I mean, it’s a giant slab of dangerous metal; I wouldn’t want to be near it either.
1 The Master Sword
The Legend Of Zelda
There are three common answers you’ll get when asking someone what their favourite Zelda game is, and that’s Breath of the Wild, Ocarina of Time, or A Link to the Past. If you’re really cool, you’ll say Majora’s Mask or Twilight Princess. And if you’re really, really cool, you’ll say The Minish Cap.
But it was 1991’s A Link to the Past that saw the first appearance of Link’s iconic weapon, the Master Sword. It’s been present in almost every mainline Zelda game since then, and is heralded as the Sword that Seals the Darkness. Mainly because it has to seal the darkness in Skyward Sword like, three times. Or in Tears of the Kingdom, the Hand that Seals the Darkness unseals the darkness, and then that very same darkness shatters the Sword that Seals the Darkness, and… yeah, anyway.
The Master Sword is so iconic that almost every generation of gamer will know what it is. And if you don’t know what it is, then I don’t want you at my birthday party. Or my grandmother’s, as a matter of fact.
