Peter Tyrrell was always making excuses, working non-stop, and trying to rush phone calls with his parents, saying he had no time for his family.
He waited months to visit his mum, Janine, in the hospital while she was suffering from cancer, and when he eventually did, she passed away a few days later before he could return.
The 41-year-old is now urging others who are “grasping for riches and success” like he once was to remember what is more important after learning one of life’s harshest lessons.
Peter, who lives near the Gordon Promenade in Gravesend, told KentOnline: “I would work non-stop and make excuses, but I did not realise I was doing it at the time.
“I gave no time for family at all. They would call, and I would rush the call and try to get rid of them. I was awful and too busy for them.
“I was not there for my mum seven years ago as I was always working. She was in the hospital for a while, but I said I never had the time to visit her.
“She died before I could go see her again, and it was heart-breaking. When she died, all the guilt came to me.”
Peter, who was working as a sous chef at Wagamama in Bluewater Shopping Centre, Greenhithe, at the time, did not take bereavement leave, throwing himself back into his job.
However, a few months later, when his boss told him he needed to use his annual leave, and he finally stood still for a moment, everything hit him.
He added: “The loss of my mum was unbearable. I had guilt and sadness from not placing my mum or family where in life they should always be.
“The bittersweet thing about it is that it took losing my mum to learn what was important; time is everything. If I had not lost her, I know I would still be doing what I was.”
Two years ago, Peter’s dad, Clive, had two strokes, but it was not until six months had passed that he needed help from his family as he began to lose his independence.
Peter then started helping and caring for his dad and his two brothers, John and William, as he did not want to repeat the same mistakes he had made with his mum.
Five weeks ago, Clive, 67, was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Woolwich with heatstroke after he had collapsed.
He was taken to intensive care with heart palpitations, and it was there that medics found he had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and was told he only had days to live.
Clive, who was from Kidbrooke in south east London, was also diagnosed with sepsis and pneumonia.
He passed away on Tuesday, July 29.
Peter said: “He was an old-fashioned man. He used to enjoy painting and assembling model Airfix vehicles.
“He also used to love recording his old tapes and records to the PC, then to an SD card; he even used to label and sort all of his collection using different files.
“I used to laugh as he had access to my Spotify account, but he loved doing things in his old ways. He loved his music; it was part of him.
“My family has never been materialistic; they gave us unconditional love and everything they had.
“They were always happy with what they had, and that is quite a nice way to be. I was always looking for the next thing and was never happy.”
Peter, who now works for an agency, was raising money while Clive was in the hospital to help pay for trips and days out.
However, he is now asking for donations to give his dad the best send-off and help cover the funeral costs. You can donate here.
And for those who don’t always see eye to eye, he added: “Time is short, cherish your family and celebrate your differences.
“Make more time, you never know when the rug will be pulled out from under you.”
