BY Jacob Albrecht ON July 14, 2025
SEOUL, South Korea — The latest Westeros-based video game, Game of Thrones: Kingsroad has proven to be a faithful testament to more of the same-old disappointment fans of the franchise have come to loathe, disillusioned sources confirm.
“We are absolutely delighted to finally share our newest addition to the Game of Thrones universe with gamers and anyone else with a credit card and low standards for quality,” said HBO’s President and CEO Casey Bloys. “We are so grateful to the thousands of Thrones fans out there who have continuously been willing to throw their money at us for almost nothing in return, and with this newest game’s price tag of sort-of-but-not-really free, we can finally prey on more of those fans than ever.”
Eager players were quick to weigh in with their thoughts on developer Netmarble Neo’s latest Game of Thrones title.
“They really knocked it out of the park with this one,” claimed Alex Schumacher, 26. “With boring, drawn-out cutscenes; broken movement and repetitive combat, I really felt like I was right back in 2017 watching my favorite show fall apart at the seams. The greed and perversion of it all just gave me such a rush of nostalgia. Plus, this game at least gives me something to do while waiting for George to write The Winds of Winter. Yup, any day now.”
Netmarble Neo Executive Producer Hyun-il Jang gladly recounted the long and rigorous development process for this absolute dumpster fire.
“Funny enough, we sort of worked backwards when we set out to make Kingsroad,” said Hyun-il. “We started out by making a much better, far more robust version of the game, before working with the good people at HBO to ‘rough it up’ a bit. They felt that the game was far too enjoyable for Game of Thrones fans, who have become accustomed to cheap, flashy cash-grabs over the course of the last decade. With their input in mind, we were finally able to make the lackluster capitalist nightmare that is Game of Thrones: Kingsroad.”
At press time, Jon Snow assured us that just one more in-app purchase will vanquish the Army of the Dead for good.
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