Phasmophobia is Apparently the Next Step in My Fitness Journey

Fitness Journey has always sounded a little pretentious to me—apologies for that—but it seemed the best way to describe my life over the past few months. And the direction that my gaming routine is going with Phasmophobia. It would also seem that Phasmophobia‘s Chronicles update is also just making it all that much harder on me (in a good way).

Let’s go back a little bit. Earlier this year, I decided I was going to get my health, specifically my weight, under control for a few reasons. Since then, I’ve managed to lose 45 pounds in about 3.5 months. I’m not quite sure how good that is result-wise, but it’s pretty good for me. I’ve never managed to lose more than 20 pounds before hitting a plateau, giving up, and returning to my normal routine. See ’cause I like routine, but I’ve never found ways to make the cumbersome challenges of counting calories and exercising fit into my daily routine. I am incredibly busy, and when I am not, I am playing video games. Why exercise when I could play video games like Phasmophobia? Make time, yes yes. Don’t make time an excuse, yeah yeah. But I made it work, and I guess my next venture is in Phasmophobia.

Establishing My Pre-Phasmo Routine

When I began making a plan back in March, I knew there were a few things I had to conquer: my issues with food, my largely “chair-to-chair lifestyle,” and my aversion to any form of exercise/strength training. We can probably trace my issues with food back to my childhood because abject poverty leaves its mark. I was actually extremely underweight most of my life, and when I was in middle and high school, I ate at school or I didn’t eat at all. Weekends? I’d be playing a game to ignore the hunger pangs. Then I got a job, then I worked multiple jobs, and I have been employed for every single day of my life since I was 16. I recognized I had not learned regulations for eating because, well, I just couldn’t most of the time. Combine that with a developing habit of stress eating and access to money to buy food, and you get me ballooning over a decade+. I didn’t mind it, I never did. I enjoyed my life at my biggest, and I enjoy it now at my smallest in years. But I knew it had to change.

I’d only occasionally drink sodas before this, which remained a habit from a prior failed attempt at weight loss. I wasn’t drinking calories, but I didn’t fully understand calories. Taught myself that too. I got my tracker, did plenty of research, began making healthy swaps, and all the other things that weight-loss people tell you to do. And big surprise, it seems to be working. My issue was always actually sticking with it and making it work in my daily routine. Willpower babyyy, what else can I say? My chair-to-chair lifestyle was another issue. At some point, I realized an average day for me was sitting at my desk working, then sitting in my chair playing video games. I do have responsibilities and I’ve never let those slide, but riding a tractor ain’t exactly burning calories no matter how hot it is outside.

So, I had to overcome these things. The calorie counter thing was and is mostly a practice of control and willpower every day, while also learning how to really understand calories. Truth be told, the amount of calories in some food is downright ridiculous, and intellectualizing it that way helps me. But cool, that wasn’t going to be enough. I wanted to start walking, and of course, the basic advice is 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week, at 3 MPH. I bought a new treadmill, but I knew that I would find walking ungodly boring. That’s also the same reason for exercise; there’s nothing I’ve ever enjoyed about working out. I do not intend to be ripped, but I think that thought process has made me ignore its standard benefits.

Managing Editor Dalton Cooper, my trusted friend and colleague, is actually the one who helped me figure out a way to not be bored while walking on my treadmill. Outside of WWE shows, I’ve never watched a lot of TV or movies. And those that I do watch are comfort reruns. It has driven him mad for years that I wouldn’t understand his references or make any connections to his favorite shows. If I had a dollar every time he was beyond bewildered by my lack of knowledge regarding movies and TV, I could probably pay off some debts. But yeah, so he made a list and has been forcing me to watch shows. I did trust his judgment. He got me into Breaking Bad…years after it aired (I began watching it during Better Call Saul’s last season), but I wasn’t confident. Yet, it worked. My first treadmill show was Stranger Things, and I enjoyed it far more than I expected. My current treadmill show is Dexter, the original show...yeah, you’re probably beginning to understand his frustration, huh? I am apparently 19 years late to the party.

I incorporated 30 minutes of walking 5/day + rest while watching shows and counting every calorie I ate. That’s gotten me 45 pounds down. That’s all I wanted to work into my routine to ensure that I made these a habit because, if I didn’t habitualize them, I knew I would fail. I’ve seen all the weight loss TikToks and whatnot, and I know some people emphasize that it’s hard to see unless you lose weight in certain areas. I don’t really see myself very differently, but the biggest benefit I’ve identified so far? The ability to go to sleep and to wake up. I have slept like a king for a few weeks now, which isn’t something I’ve said for years.

But I’ve been considering the problem of getting proper strength training worked into my routine, and well, Phasmophobia has given me my answer.

Phasmophobia: What To Do When You’re Dead

Gamifying strength training isn’t anything new. Like most, I am pretty sure I would become jacked if I did strength training while playing Soulslike games: 10 push-ups when you die, multiplied by my number of deaths in Lies of P, and I’m pretty sure I’d give the world’s strongest bodybuilders a run for their money. But Phasmophobia is so beautifully perfect for it and much more realistic, especially after the Chronicles update.

I’m not going to a gym, that’s just not an option. Having people with me is certainly a motivator, and I never play Phasmo alone. My Phasmophobia cult and I still play for several hours every week, though, and it was actually one of their ideas that we begin working out when we die. As fans know, there’s really not a whole lot to do in Phasmophobia when you die except to watch the ghost, send messages that are totally cheating to alive players, and make Poltergeist piles. Many fans have wanted more interactivity after death for a long time now, but I’m not sure I do anymore.

Our rules are still being defined, but getting the ghost wrong or dying means doing 10 situps, 10 push-ups, or 10 curls. There’s really nothing else to do when you’ve died, nothing that would stop a few strength training exercises anyway. Now, we’re pretty good at the game, I feel. Shenanigans aside, two of us are Prestige 3. We’ve got tons of hours. We typically play up to a 7.77x multiplier (although we’ve since lowered it after getting all the Phasmophobia achievements). It’s just for fun. But the Chronicles Update has made this even more viable.

The Chronicles Update reworked media in Phasmophobia, meaning no more taking photos of salt piles and instead aiming to get photos, sound recordings, and video recordings. It is incredibly hard to do solo. I am so glad that I already had Phasmophobia‘s Golden Apocalypse achievement before this because, otherwise, yikes. Completing a perfect hunt is actually challenging now, and if one of us falls, there’s a serious chance of a domino effect. (And, of course, we always go for the perfect hunt unless it’s Prison, Brownstone, or Sunny Meadows). My point is, we’re dying more than ever before.

Dying more means more exercise, and more exercise is not a bad thing for us. It fits perfectly into my current routine, it has the social benefits of a gym without forcing me into the public eye, and it’s more than enough to push us in-game and out of it. I’m unsure how strength training will impact my weight loss, but I know I need it and I am actually excited about it. That’s surprising and equally hopeful. If it works in the long run, it should help me finally reach my first big milestone, which I set, that will happen once I’ve dropped 60 pounds. At that time, I am treating myself to some Krispy Kreme Homer Simpson donuts (pink frosted with sprinkles) ((in moderation and while staying in a calorie deficit)), and I am surprised by just how much my mentality and my sleep have changed over the past few months.

Phasmophobia

Released

October 29, 2024

ESRB

T For Teen // Blood, Use of Drugs, Violence

Developer(s)

Kinetic Games

Publisher(s)

Kinetic Games

Engine

Unity

Phasmophobia is a 4-player, online co-op, psychological horror game. You and your team of paranormal investigators will enter haunted locations filled with paranormal activity and try to gather as much evidence as you can. Use your ghost-hunting equipment to find and record evidence to sell on to a ghost removal team.

Immersive Experience: Realistic graphics and sounds as well as a minimal user interface ensure a totally immersive experience that will keep you on your toes.

Unique Ghosts: Identify over 20 different ghost types, each with unique traits, personalities, and abilities to make each investigation feel different from the last.

Equipment: Use well-known ghost-hunting equipment such as EMF Readers, Spirit Boxes, Thermometers, and Night Vision Cameras to find clues and gather as much paranormal evidence as you can. Find Cursed Possessions that grant information or abilities in exchange for your sanity.

Full Voice Recognition: The Ghosts are listening! Use your actual voice to interact with the Ghosts through Ouija Boards and EVP Sessions using a Spirit Box.

Locations: Choose from over 10 different haunted locations, each with unique twists, hiding spots, and layouts.

Game Modes: With 5 default difficulties and hand crafted weekly challenges, there are plenty of ways to test your skills.

Teamwork: Dive in head first, get your hands dirty searching for evidence while fighting for your life. If you’re not feeling up to the task, play it safe and support your team from the truck by monitoring the investigation with CCTV and motion sensors.

Custom Difficulty: Create your own games to tailor the difficulty to your or your group’s needs, with proportional rewards and come up with crazy game modes of your own!

Co-operate: Play alongside your friends with up to 4 players in this co-op horror where teamwork is key to your success.

Play together: Phasmophobia supports all players together, play with your friends with any combination of input types.